I cheated on my boyfriend

Dear Dr. O,

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now. He lives in Vancouver and I live in Los Angeles. We have been visiting each other every couple of months for a few weeks at a time. Although we never really discussed it, I am certain we both have the understanding we are monogamous. We are totally into each other in a serious way and we have expressed the desire to eventually live in the same city.

About a month ago, I met an old friend I used to do drugs with and I ended up partying with him. My boyfriend and I do not do drugs and it has been at least a year since I last partied. My friend from the past decided to get online and invite some hot guys to mess around with over to his house. I ended up fooling around with one of the guys. The next day I felt really guilty and told my boyfriend in Vancouver I had partied and was high with my friend, but I left out the sex part. I just couldn't bring myself to tell him.

It has been about a month now, and I am still struggling with guilt about having sex with someone else. Part of me thinks I should tell him, but I am afraid I might lose the best relationship I have ever had. I feel he would be crushed. I really love this man and truly feel remorse. Should I tell him? What should I do?

Truly Conflicted

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