Gay marriages still unequal in the eyes of federal government

Last week, on our 13th wedding anniversary, my partner finally became my lawfully wedded wife. In the Santa Clara County wedding chapel, as our 2-year-old son scampered around and our 2-month-old daughter dozed, we re-exchanged vows and rejoiced that our state has finally recognized our union.

But there is another battle to be fought before we have the full legal rights enjoyed by our straight friends. And I'm not even talking about defeating the November ballot measure that would amend the state constitution to ban gay marriage.

Although marriage laws are set by the states, the most important marriage rights are controlled by the federal government. Without nationwide recognition, we will remain in a separate and unequal limbo in several key areas:

• Parental rights. Today we'll be going through another legal formality in another Santa Clara County building, as my wife legally adopts our daughter. Both our names are on her birth certificate, and California recognizes both of us as her legal parents, but other states might not. So we have to spend thousands of dollars in legal fees and go through a "step-parent adoption," including a home visit by a social worker, to safeguard our rights.

• Immigration. When a straight person falls in love with someone who is not a U.S. citizen, marriage provides a way for them to stay together. It's not so simple for gay couples because federal immigration authorities don't recognize our

marriages. Gay marriages still unequal in the eyes of federal government
San Jose Mercury News,  USA